My wife didn't treated me well

Question

Salam,

I am a practicing Muslim. I am in the middle of my life's biggest problem that I really need to solve.

background:

I am a literate Muslim, living in Pakistan and my family is very normal. I married a poor girl who belongs to a tribe from Hazara. I am Urdu speaking.

There is a huge difference between me and my wife. It was a love marriage, and its been 4 years since we got married.

I've been a very good husband, I always treated her well and tolerated her for everything.

She cannot control her anger from the beginning and created a lot of problems in my family. She used to mind everybody and keep it with her for days/months.

She used to treat me like I am her property or her son or a dog or something. I used to play guitar and I had to quit since I got married. I let go all my friends didn't used to meet them because when ever I do, I had to bare my wife's anger for a day or two.

Since she disturbed and disrespected me a lot, I had to go out.. I made a friend and fell in love with her. The problem is, my wife cannot live at her home because she have a good life here at my home(luxirious) and ofcourse she loves me but love has always been inside of her, she never showed her care she never changed. Usually, a wife need to adopt her husband's way of life and all other stuff but unfortunately she didn't.

When I got tired of all this, I told her that i cannot live with her anymore and told her to leave. I cannot give her divorce directly because her family will surely kill me and her father told me 10 times that I can shoot you and my daughter just to make me sure of it that he will.

The thing is, my wife won't let me marry another girl, infact that other girl wont marry me until my wife is with me and my wife won't leave me because of her so called love and luxury. What do i do now? I have 2 daughters 1 is 3 years and 1 is 1 years old.

Now that i changed i don't tolerate her anymore and told her that I don't love her and don't want to be her anymore, she apologized and now trying to be a better person a better wife and a better mother. What do I do now? I love other girl because I was not happy and respected by my wife now she is sorry for those 4 years.

Another thing, she never treated my daughters well, she used to hit her daily. And in my family, we treat children very well.

 

Please suggest me something.

 

Thanks.

Answer 1

Well Islam says few things you can do to her and one of them is beating her. So maybe you should start using Quran as your relationship counselor and do what it says to an unobeying wife.

Answer 2

Assalam-0-Alykum,

 

Thanks for your reply. After 4 years of marriage now that I love another woman and want to get married with her, my wife started obayeing me and started to becoming a good wife. The problem is due to her disrespecting me and not obeying me in the past I now don't want her to be my wife anymore and want to get rid off her. What do I do now? it was her mistake that I started loving another woman. My wife will never bare my 2nd marriage. What and how should I do?

 

Thanks.