salam. i am a very free spirited person and to abstain from doing the normal things western ppl do to have fun is a BIG jihad for me. idk if many people would understand but i just have a deep love for partying, the nightlife, etc. (all things i can't do because i'm muslim). My mom says i have the interests & energy of a guy lol.Also, it really bothers me that all the muslim guys live their life and get to experience everything during their young age and once they're ready to start a family, they quite all this. they make tawba, their sins are forgiven, and they expect that their girl is a "good girl" who's stayed at home most of their life, and when she chills, she only chills with a few girls at a mall, coffee shop, or even wonderland. in a way i'm very envious of all men, western and non wester. there's nothing i hate more than double standards.
what can i do with my life to feel like i have "lived my life" as a muslim girl? (and traveling is outta the question bc i have no budget for that) Or is there a reward for this?
btw i've lived a very oppressing life (no need to say details) and as i'm starting to break free from my past i'm looking to fulfill al the things i couldn't as a child/adolescent.