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How to spank wife

+4 votes
I am a young European woman happily married to a wonderful Muslim man and we live in his homeland. Before we married, he honestly explained every detail of a muslim marriage. I liked the idea that he would be the provider and guardian while I would only have limited responsibilties and have accepted the idea that in return he would be dominant and I the obedient one. He also openly explained the benefits of spanking the wife in Islam and asked that I accept it as part of our marriage. He told me, and I researched it, that Islam only permits mild spanking that does not leave any marks and is applied only to body parts where there can be no injury. I also learned that such spanking is more a reconciliation than a punishment and prevents bigger marrital problems. So I agreed. I have been a good and obedient wife and my husband is great provider and loving partner. During the past 19 months, he spanked me only 7 times, with his hand on my bare buttocks. I am wondering though if this is an approved method.
asked Aug 28, 2011 in Islam by anonymous

40 Answers

+2 votes
There are several comments above I would like to respond to. Spankings of a Western wife by her Muslim husband can only work if it's a happy marriage, they love each other and she is able to accept his culture. When I am bent over his knees and spanked on my bare buttocks, sure it is humiliating and it hurts. At the same time, however, it symbolizes my submission to him, his dominant position in out marriage and that he is responsible for me. He never spanks me immediately but usually the next day when he is no longer angry and I had time to think about my misdeed and the upcoming punishment for it. After the spanking, everything is back to normal, not hard feelings. It works for us.
answered Apr 9, 2012 by anonymous
I am from Europe married to moslem husband from middle east.I love him and respect him so much but yes i agree that husband need to punish his wife from time to time even if she is not guilty but only to make discipline.My husband spank me and we both agree with this.Spanking make me better wife,my respect is bigger and he feel much more domination and he let his agresivity out ( ofcoarse not in bad way) .I would recommend to all marrie coples to try this becoase this way of discipline can make wonder in marriage.
+2 votes
ASsalaamu Alykum sister I am marrying a muslim man in June Insha Allah He is sweet and kind and I doubt he would ever spank me or have need to. I know my role as wife and I always tell him how I feel and talk to him and we always discuss things. I respect him and in return he respects me. If he did spank me or discipline me it would be with good reason. I do know that punishment is allowed in Islam. I can say this as a woman that I have seen woman disrespect men and their husbands and.some of them could use the discipline. I am all for woman's rights to an extent but look what it has got us look at our society. Woman work all day our children go to daycare and raised by strangers and look at the hate and violence and the little respect they have for themselves and their elder and even their parents. I am very thankful Allah has given me the sight to see This and raise my children to respect others and themselves. Alhumdilulah. I think you should talk with your husband always tell him how you feel. He cannot read your mind. You should be discussing this with him. You and him know what you both need. May Allah bless you with a long happy marriage.
answered May 3, 2012 by anonymous
edited May 3, 2012
+2 votes
i am a muslim wife and i want my husband to discipline me in this way. But I am not sure, if it is against Islam. I know, that it is allowed that a man can punish his wife at last method. But I am not sure if a practise like maintain-spanking (i read about this in internet in combinattion with domestic disciplin) is ok with islam.

I really want to introduce domestic disciplin and maintain spanking in my marriage. I think it would help me to be a better wife, obedient and submissive. We love each other very much and I love the thougth, my husband would give me reguallary maintain spankings. (but I have the fear, it is maybe against islamic rules???)

And I read in internet that discipline-spankings can spy up the intimate-relationsship.
answered May 24, 2012 by anonymous
Salam, i am new in islam, my husband is moslem shia.I love my husband and respect him a lot. I am trying to be good wife and folow his rules but i agree that spanking wife can help to make marriage much better.Its allowed in islam to punish a wife and to spank her if she deserve this or she ask for this.Spanking sould be on place where she cant be hurt ( the best place is buttom) and to not let her bleed or similar.Wife need to feel pain but ofcoarse not to be hurt to much.In my marriage spanking did miracul.Well my husband is by nature agresiv but he never hurtd me in a bad beginig our fighting was bad we couldnt found balance and then i ask my husband to spank me every time i missbehave.He was suprised but he did.I have to admit that spanking brought to us peace in our marriage, i feel that spanking make me better wife and my husband let his agresivity out and he feel also much better.
oh yes i forgat to say that our relation in sex is great specialy after spanking.
Salam Fatima,

I am the anonymus from the reply. Can I ask you how long are you married and how the spanking starts in your marriage? Was it your idea or from your husband? Who brings up this discipline?

It was a kind of strange for me to ask my husband to punish me for discipline and also for fun. He does it now often for fun and a little serious. But I really wish he would do it reagularly and really serious. But I am ashamed to asked him about it. I feel a kind of strange that I allow him to punish and discipline me.

And from which european county are you? Maqybe we can email us? I have some more question but don't want to write them here in public.
+2 votes
I think if the wife is disrespectful to the husband, especially in public.  He has the right to give her a fully nude spanking.  This teachs the wife to respect her husband.
answered Feb 8, 2013 by anonymous
Not sure why she would necessarily have to be fully nude, or nude at all for that matter. I suppose that would be his choice as he is not supposed to be questioned about this from his peers. However, if he is following the Qur'an, loves Allah and is following Islam then he knows he is not supposed to leave any marks on her body or hit her on the face. There is a fine line.
+1 vote
I am spanked wife, by a Christian man.  While dating I was dated for being late for one too many dates.  He told me if I wanted him, then if I acted like a child, I would be treated like a child, over his knee, my bottom bared, then spanked until I couldn't sit down.  Spanking are embarrassing and painful,  but spanking do work.  I wish all            wives would be spanked too.  Care enough about your wife to spank her.  If you love her then spank her.  A sore bottom communicate so much more than words.
answered Jun 7, 2013 by jelena45 (250 points)
0 votes
I was born and raised Muslim but I have never heard spanking a wife on bare butt as  an appropriate punishment method in Islam.
answered Sep 5, 2011 by anonymous
have you heard of spanking her on her covered butt?
0 votes
And to think I was going to talk to somoene in person about this.
answered Sep 14, 2011 by anonymous
0 votes
ah cool thanks
answered Nov 8, 2011 by anonymous
0 votes
It is not permitted in Islam to slap your wife as wives are fragile to be cared and loved. Unless, if there any prohobited in Islam that she has done.
answered Mar 10, 2012 by anonymous
0 votes

Soon I will marry a muslim. He is the most confident and self assured man I have ever met. I have studied long and hard about what it will mean to become a muslim wife.

I trust this man with my life. I know he would never harm me. That he would cherish and protect me. This is a personal choice to accept his way of life. If you hurt your best friends feelings because you are having a bad day that is just selfish. A simple apology will calm everything. Women are funny creatures though, and pride can consume (me) up to the throat. To be taken in hand and reminded to be kind is not a bad thing. It relieves so much guilt. This is not isolated to the muslim belief , and if you believe it is then you need to do some research.

Personally, I'd rather take a spanking than the silent treament, or worse an explosive temper because he took all he could take and then just went off. Men usually don't do much bitching or nagging like women do, but that would even suck, to go on and on about something. Just spank me,forgive me and put it behind me.

Yes my future groom will most assuredly spank my smart ass american mouth every now and then. At least I will know he is paying attention and cares about my well being.



answered Apr 4, 2012 by Anonymus (1,080 points)
reshown Mar 2, 2017 by Admin
And as for the original's a thought...7 spankings in 19 months, not too bad.That averages out to be .32 spankings a month. If you are both happy and this works for you then dont question it. Spankings are not Physical Abuse or domestic violence. If you feel you are living in this with fear then by all means get help and GET OUT!

Truly. If all is good a spanking here and there may be good for some marriages.
This comment is for the anonymus person who advises against spanking due to sexual feelings.


Erotic arousal from a senual spanking is entirely different than a spanking delivered for discipline. Look at it like gently kissing a girl on her soft lips, filled with passion and lust vs. an asshole that slams you up against a wall pins you there crams his tongue down your throat, biting your lip in the process.