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Can a wife refuse to be spanked? [poll]

0 votes
Unfortunately every website for Islam and Muslims refer to Quran 4:34 "wife discipline", and it seems to be only information from a western point of view.

The most answered and most viewed question here is about wife spanking. My question is what if she refuses to be spanked? Is she expected to willingly submit to this discipline? And if she refuses to be spanked what are the consequences of her actions?


I dont know how to fix the poll but the 2nd choice should omit the word never. It should read women who are spanked occasionally
women who are spanked regularly (4 votes)
women who are never spanked occasionally (2 votes)
women who are never spanked (1 vote)
asked Aug 20, 2012 in Islam by anonymous (6,010 points)

5 Answers

+3 votes

Is she expected to willingly submit to this discipline?


If not, she will forcibly receive the punishment. It doesnt really matter how the wife acts when she will be punished. The punishment will occur no matter what.

But yes, ideally she should just know her fault and willingly submit to this disipline, since she is also a muslim and knows the rules.

answered Aug 21, 2012 by anonymous
thank you. I am trying to learn as much as I can about the life of a muslim/Islamic wife as I am not muslim but will soon be married to a muslim man.
+3 votes
As a Muslim wife, why would i think about if i can refuse him or not. Quran says he is the head of the household. So i do my part and if he is not happy with it, he is allowed to punish me as Quran says. I am not in a position to refuse the punishment nor even question it.
answered Aug 22, 2012 by anonymous
thank you, I sincerely appreciate your input.
+1 vote
Just one point to John, this is a reality, it is written in the Qu'ran and in the haddiths, and the one thing I will give to non-muslims it's when they say stop trying to sweep this under the rug like a dirty little secret. It is what it is, so if it is to be understood then just explain it and own it.
answered Aug 21, 2012 by anonymous (6,010 points)
edited Aug 22, 2012 by anonymous
0 votes
I had to stand before him as he scolded and remove everything below the waist and when he stopped scolding I had to put myself over his knee..
answered Jun 7, 2013 by jelena45 (250 points)
Holy shit! Is that what happened to you or are you just quoting?
–1 vote
Yes she can refuse to be punished. You can not force anybody not even your wife in Islam.

Islam is a religion of peace, love and understanding. If you force anybody to do anything, that means you believe in slavery and Islam is very very against slavery. Your wife is not your slave, nor your servant. She is your partner and you other half. Even though her role at home is different, that doesnt mean she is in a lower class than you, nor it means she is weaker than you and has to take your word as orders.

Enough respect to each other will solve any problem/issue within the family but if there is not enough respect and understanding then that is the biggest issue/problem in that family
answered Aug 21, 2012 by anonymous
However, you did not say Islam was against discipling the wife, so I ask you if the husband finds this necessary and she is not to be forced is she expected to submit?
I am not the person who put that comment but in my opinion, if she refuses the punishment, husband cant force. Means if there is a conflict about punishment, husband needs to give up because otherwise he will be forcing and using her like a slave and that is not right in Islam. There are also other methods to punish the wife and maintain the relationship. Why do you all always get stuck on physical punishment? If a relationship comes to that points and if there is also a conflict even at that point, then its pretty clear that relationship doesnt work. Time to think about other and more permanent solutions.

PS: I didnt understand your poll at all. I dont see a clear question and clear answers. Please edit and explain them better. Thank you.
I would edit the poll if I knew how as I wrote above it. My apologies if its not clear. I agree with your comment although its not about being stuck its about being new to something and trying to understand it. So many times and unfortunately you read about this, it is everywhere, and I was hoping to get answers from a point of view that is not westernized. Answers from people who live this way of life (Islam/Muslim) everyday as a normal part of life as opposed to someones pious opinion.
In Islam a husband has the right to physically correct his wife, generally disobedient wives are spanked with a belt or strap on the bare behind , most often completely nude.  But the severity of the punishment is restricted ,  it must do no permanent harm. A husband is also adviced in the Quran to use physical punishment as a last resort, a disobedient wife should be admonished and only if her bad behavior continues should she be spanked. In Islam a a wife must submit to her husband's correction even if this includes a spanking.